Introduction
Numerous studies show that what happens to a person in their childhood has a huge impact on their future physical, mental and emotional health. Whether negative or positive, habits formed in childhood often last a lifetime.
Growing up in an emotionally and spiritually healthy home can be a wonderful experience for a child, giving them the inner resources they need to flourish in adulthood. But sadly, many children experience events that negatively impact their physical and mental health, leaving them to struggle with the consequences for years, or even a lifetime.
Parenting at Different Stages of Childhood Development
As a parent or caregiver, your job is to provide a safe and healthy environment in which your child can grow and mature through all stages of their development.
Infancy (Under Age 4): The first years are mystical, filled with awe and pride. Your baby takes their first steps, teethes and says their first words. This is an exciting time, even though many parents, especially first-time parents, question how well they're doing in their new role. That's normal.
Your little one gives you lots of new things to consider, starting with baby-proofing. Everything from car seats to cribs to stairs and wall outlets requires careful thought and action. Of course, it's impossible to be completely prepared for everything your baby will experience. Just remember: these experiences are opportunities for you to praise, encourage, teach and model. This is your time to create a bond with your child that will outlast rebellion and separation.
The Primary Years: Ages 5-9: The baby fat is gone, and your child is no longer a "hip-hugger". Now, a more independent, assertive spirit is awakening. Personality and personal preferences are coming to the surface almost daily. Individual traits are more defined, likes and dislikes are emerging, and school is a central theme. Your child is experiencing significant gains in emotional and cognitive development.
Prepare yourself for lots of questions, such as: Can I? Why does Daddy do that? Why do I have a baby sister? Where did Grandpa go, and why can't I see him anymore? The answers you provide and the behaviour you model will make a lasting impression, especially when it comes to values and discussions about alcohol and drugs, peer pressure and healthy friendships.
Preteens (Ages 10-14): How often do you hear, "I'm not a kid anymore?" And how often do you think: "But you're too young for that"? Welcome to the preteen years of fashion-conscious, fad-loving, filled-with-attitude youth. Your 12-year-old is so moody, he begs for attention one minute, and then pretends you don't exist the next. You want to keep your 10-year-old in pigtails, but she tells you belly shirts are the bomb.
It's a constant struggle: the desire for independence versus the need for boundaries. How much can you accept? What can't be ignored? How do you decide? The answer may be tricky. But your decision can be made easier. The more involvement you have in your child's life, the easier your communication with him or her will be. And communication is the key as you watch your child face the not-so-uncommon preteen challenges of meeting new friends, developing a reputation, transitioning into high school and trying on new identity hats every other day.
Teenagers (Ages 15 and Up): The teen years are wildly unpredictable. Moods can change multiple times in one day. With new decisions to make regarding curfews, friends, driving, dating, smoking and drinking, your potential battlegrounds are endless. Don't feel too frustrated or desperate when your son or daughter defies your authority. Reducing dependence on parents is natural and necessary at this stage in life. At the same time, however, you'll still play a significant role in shaping the decisions your teen makes.
You should be authoritative without being authoritarian. You should teach by word and by example. You should be engaged in your child's education (research shows your involvement can enhance academic success and protect against problem behaviours).
Don't retreat from your teen's life. Participate in it, even if they act like they're going to die if they're seen with you in public. Now is the time to reinforce character and build discipline so your teen can thrive in the face of life's challenges.
What You Can Do
Nourish your child with a healthy, balanced, diet based on Canada's Food Guide. Encourage your child to drink water instead of soft drinks and to eat healthy snacks instead of junk food. Stick to a regular meal and snack routine. Eat together as a family as much as possible.
Make physical activity part of your family life by taking walks or playing outdoor games together. Try to ensure your child gets 30-60 minutes of physical activity daily. Keep total TV and computer screen time to 90 minutes or less per day.
Children learn more from what they see than what you tell them. Be a good role model when it comes to physical activity, healthy eating, not smoking or drinking, and personal behaviour.
Work on improving your marriage to your spouse. The greatest fear of children is that their parents will split up, and their greatest wish is that they reconcile. Putting effort into improving your marriage gives your children the security of a stable home, while seeing you resolve differences effectively gives them tools for handling their own future relationships.
Improving your own mental health is important for your children. Parents who recover from their addictions, overcome depression through counselling, and move past their pain are better able to parent their children effectively.
Be present to your child and listen closely. Make sure they know you�re always there for them and love them unconditionally. Set aside your desire to fix things right away and try to understand what it is like in your child's world. Once you hear and acknowledge your child�s feelings, your child feels more connected to you, and their negative feelings diminish.
Monitor closely and discuss openly with your children their choices in friends, movies, Web sites and music. Children are exposed to a torrent of sexual and violent images through various media. When clothing companies sell shirts to six-year-old girls advertising them as "Jailbait", and rappers talk about slapping their girlfriend and scoring drugs, it's important that you talk about these issues with your child.
Set boundaries. Psychological research shows that children who grow up with firm boundaries are better adjusted than those who grow up with inconsistent or overly permissive boundaries.
Check with your health-care provider if your child experiences noticeable weight gain or loss, sleep problems or behavioural changes, a fever higher than 39°C, rashes or skin infections, frequent sore throats or breathing problems.
Further Resources
Contact the Public Health Agency of Canada at www.phac-aspc.gc.ca or 1-866-225-0709 and Alberta Family and Social Services at www.child.alberta.ca or 1-866-714-5437.
