Introduction
Abuse is when a person uses threats, humiliation and/or physical violence to hurt or control another person. It may include rape, attempted rape, any forced sexual contact or action, physical violence, and emotional or psychological hurt.
Abuse is one of society's most serious problems, made even worse by the fact it is so often hidden. Most people who suffer abuse do so at the hands of someone they know. Often, the abuser's actions make the victim feel guilty, afraid, anxious and/or depressed.
People who are abused can be injured or, in extreme cases, killed. Others may experience severe emotional distress that can lead to mental illness and physical health problems.
Symptoms
People respond in different ways to abuse. Some people never develop symptoms. Others develop symptoms months or even years later. These can include psychiatric problems such as depression, dissociation (losing conscious awareness of the 'here and now') or another anxiety disorder such as panic disorder. They may also turn to self-destructive behaviours, including alcohol or drug abuse, suicidal impulses, high-risk sexual behaviours, and fast or reckless driving or other physically dangerous activities.
Besides actual physical injuries caused directly by the abuser, abuse victims frequently experience physical complaints. These can include chronic pain with no medical basis, stress-related conditions such as chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia, stomach pain or other digestive problems, eating disorders, breathing problems, headaches, muscle cramps or aches (such as lower back pain), cardiovascular problems and insomnia.
Female victims of abuse often experience gynecological problems.
People who are abusive usually have many problems that they find hard to deal with, and this can cause them to act out with violence. But this does not excuse their behaviour. Major life changes and stressors, such as the loss of a job, a death in the family or bankruptcy, can increase the likelihood of a person resorting to violence. Alcohol and drug abuse may also play a role.
Causes/Risk Factors
Domestic abuse is not the occasional flare-up over spending habits or where to go on holiday. Anger and arguments do occur and are a normal part of relationships.
However, verbal threats and physical or sexual violence are not part of a normal healthy relationship. Over time, verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse, which can take a profound toll on the victim's physical and emotional health and even escalate into life-threatening situations.
Both men and women can be victims of domestic abuse. In a recent survey, eight per cent of Canadian women and seven per cent of Canadian men said they�d experienced some form of abuse from their partner. The actual percentage of people whose lives have been touched by abuse is probably much higher, since many cases of abuse go unreported.
Violence as a means to solve problems is learned, especially in the family. An environment where there is violence increases a child's chances of having behavioural problems, developing mental illnesses, and performing poorly in school. Abused children are also more liable to abuse others, repeating the cycle of abuse.
What You Can Do
Violence can happen to anyone. You are not to blame. No matter what you did, violence against you is never okay.
If your partner has been abusive, talk to a trusted friend or relative and arrange to stay with them when things get bad. Prepare an exit plan for emergencies. Keep a spare set of keys and some money in a place where you quickly access them if you have to leave.
Learn about the cycle of domestic violence. Perpetrators often apologize and make promises to change after a violent incident. But once violence has occurred, it's likely to happen again.
If you're being assaulted, or fear being assaulted, call 911. For less immediate threats, call your local women's shelter or crisis counselling line.
If you're no longer living with your abuser yet they continue to pursue you and/or act violently toward you, contact the police to obtain a restraining order.
If you're physically injured, seek medical attention right away.
Love your children and give them your utmost attention. Use non-violent means of disciplining your children. Take a parenting skills course or workshop.
Limit television, video games and Internet access for your children to one or two hours per day. Watch with them to monitor and discuss what they see. Encourage your children to pursue healthy alternative activities, such as sports, interactive play and reading.
Don't keep firearms in the home unless you have to. If you do have firearms in your house, unload them and keep them under lock and key, with the ammunition in a separate locked compartment.
The wounds left by emotional abuse may not be visible, but they can be just as deep as the scars caused by physical abuse. If someone is deliberately injuring you through hurtful words and actions, seek counselling.
What You Can Take
If you're experiencing anxiety, depression or post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of abuse, prescription medication, in conjunction with counselling, may be helpful. Ask your doctor what treatment approach would work best for you.
Further Resources
Contact the National Clearinghouse on Family Violence at www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/ncfv-cnivf/familyviolence or 1-800-267-1291.
